Art

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“If I could do anything, what would I do?”

For so long I hated looking at abstract art because I could not understand how to answer that question. I wanted to see art that was clear and demonstrative of skill. Skill is what I admired. Photo-realism, that was “good art.” Underneath it, I was just jealous. Abstract artists made me feel angry. Why can they get away with making this unidentifiable image? If I enjoy it, but can’t tell what it is, is the joke on me?!

I was jealous because I wanted to make abstract art. Making abstract art seemed invalid. I got drunk and worked too hard for not enough pay instead of making art.

I went back to school and studied politics and took a few art classes. All I liked about college was the art classes. But, making art wasn’t valid, so I went to work in politics.

And then my dad died, and I stood at the turning point.

What will I do? – Art………. You can’t do that, so what will you do? More of the same

And then my husband wanted a divorce, and I stood at the turning point.

What will I do? – Art………. You can’t do that, so what will you do? I got drunk and did more of the same.

And then I almost died of alcoholism, and I stood at the turning point’

What will I do? – Art………..You cant do that, so what will you do? Get sober. And, more of the same.

And then my younger brother died, and I stood at the turning point.

What will I do? – Art………..You can’t do that, so what will you do? More of the same.

And then I started to get sick. My body was breaking down from stress and grief.

My foster daughter moved out at 17, and I stood at the turning point.

What will I do – Art …………..You can’t do that, so what will you do?

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes I can do that. I CAN DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started painting on October 8, 2016.

By January I started to think I couldn’t do it, or shouldn’t do it, and then I found Eudaimonia.

Eudaimonia is what Plato called a fulfilled life, and he asserted that decoding beauty through experiencing the arts was a necessary component in achieving fulfillment.

In 14 months I did 14 shows. I DID ART.